//...winter...\\

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My contract ending in July, with both parties having no intention to renew.

This is the first time I worked in such an environment and it really gives me a clear view of what modern days workplace exploitation is like.
Whatever it is, I'm glad that it's all gonna be over in another 29 days. =)

Have the interest of going into property line.
If I'm gonna work so hard, I might as well work for 'myself'.

Checked with my manager today and was told that I would have to pay part of the bills of the course I'm taking now.
this arrangement was due to blah blah blah blah blah....
Too many reason and most probably half of them are craps, thus not worth remembering it~

But still I think it's OK with me...
I'm taking a course at half the price..
It's about the same as getting funding from NTUC or CDAC.
So ya~ I guess this arrangement is reasonable... until there's others factor that made me think otherwise.

I'm looking for part time job.
Those that maybe work for 3-4 days per week or like just half a day for 5 days per week.
The main reason I made this decision is my kids.
Travis seriously need some coaching in his schoolwork.
And I think a large amount of tuition fee is inevitable if I continue being a FTWM.
To minimize our already expanded monthly expenditure, I think it would be better if I coach him personally.
I could save some tuition fee and also have the 1st hand update on his progress...

4 minutes to off-work.
Cya peeps again next time~

Adioss~

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 5:28 PM

Monday, June 28, 2010

I wish they would not renew my contract.
The working environment here really sucks to the core.

People wear mask all the time.
You see her saying how much she hated this person,
but the next second you see the both of them laughing and giggling with each other.
Disgusting!!

Watched Toy Story 3 with the kids last Friday at Cathay@AMK Hub.
We had MacDonald breakfast before we head to the movie and I only told the kids we will be catching the show after we finished the breakfast
Upon hearing this, Travis asked me suddenly, 'Mummy, will everything come out?'
I was like 'huh, what do you mean?'
He asked the same question over and over again but I still couldn't comprehend the meaning to his words.
So in a very irritated tone, I said 'Travis, what come out??'
Then he explained to me nicely 'Mummy, you know we went to watch the show at sentosa and everything came out??'
Then, I finally realised!
We went to the 4D magix once at sentosa sometime back.
Travis was so terrified by the effect then..
But I didn't know that it would follow him till today..
Guess I'll have a hard time convincing him to go for 3D movies in future~

After reassuring him that nothing will come out, we proceed to the ticket counter and got the tix.
The whole cinema was almost fill except for the 2nd front row right side of the screen.
It was so near the screen but we nevertheless enjoyed the movie.
Am in the midst of planning another movie session with the kids and this show popped to mind - Despicable Me!
So, next movie it shall be ~ Despicable Me~

My wisdom tooth is giving me headache.
And I mean headache literally!!
It got so bad that even breathing aggravates the pain..
Oh god!!!
And I'm so scared of going to the dentist for fear of dental surgery.
Had a dental surgery once, and it has haunted me for life...
(Though the skill of the dental surgeon is good; making it as painless as possible)

Called up some dental clinics and all was full for the day.
Luckily Q&M Ang Mo Kio got slot for tml evening at a good time.
I grabbed it without 2nd thought!
It's hurting so bad I could cry!!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 5:17 PM

Friday, June 25, 2010

A otherwise happy outing was ruined because of you.

I dun understand why do you always have to be so out of touch when we have family outings.
It's either you seems irritated or you just simply dun bother to interact with us.
Who are we to you exactly?

After so many years, dun you know still what I want??
I have been telling you time and again how I would like you to interact with the kids when we're doing somethings together as a family.
But time and time again my words fall on deaf ear.

I am a human being, a girl, a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, I'm anything but not a superwoman.
I have my needs too.
I need love, care & concern like everyone else do..
I'm already letting it go when you show no interest in fulfilling any of my needs.
Now I just hope that for the sake of the kids, you can keep up a facade.
Isn't that why we are still together after all these years?

I hate quarrelling as much as you do.
I dun understand why, after so many years, you still act like a child.
And also what's your stress when I'm already taking care of most of the things.

Whatever it is..
I hate living like this..
If you are not ready to give me what I want, then just let me go..
What's the point of making a big hoo-haa in FB the other time when you have no intention of giving me anything???

I won't try to have anymore talks to you again...
Because it's futile...
It will end up with me talking and u staring at me throughout the whole time..
I dun know what you want.. And I'm tired of guessing it..
And also not interested to know it anymore..

I'm giving up...

Labels: Life, marriage

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 3:15 PM

Thursday, June 24, 2010

When small little things irritate u. When my needs are nothing but inconvenience to you. When even being by your side seems so distant from u. What is there left in this relationship for me to cling on still???

The bridge is there to keep us connected... But that connection is nothing but just superficial exchanges.

As much as I hate u giving me cold shoulders, I need to get used of them... Forever is a long time. I dun want to feel the hurt each time the same thing happen.

I'm letting it go...

The truth hurts, but living in denial hurts more...

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:49 PM

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Having maid problems now...
MIL suggest to send her back home.
In fact, she's almost to the point of pressurizing me to have her out of the house.

My contract with my current company will be ending next month.
I'm still awaiting reply if they would still like to use my service.
If not, then I'll be a part time SAHM.
I can't do without a job.. So I'll definitely get myself a part time job.
Moreover, I am so used to use my own money..
I wouldn't want to get every cent from hubby for everything i need to get.

I'm actually quite looking forward to stop working and stay at home.
Travis is already at the stage where he needs constant coaching to understand the subject.
If I carry on working, I would have to engage a tutor for him.

There's alot of things to take into consideration and I am still weighing the pros and cons.

Haiz~ I need someone to advice me!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:49 PM

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Guess I finally understand what 'enough is enough' means.
I'm sick and tired of all the nonsense and I need a change soon.
I wouldn't want to be pull down by those who are not as serious as the others.
Ppl put in 100% of effort, u put in only 10%, and u get the same thing as the others, is it fair??
On top of that, ppl still have to put up with your nonsense... Double the stress!!
What for?!?!

A change is necessary and inevitable..

Labels: Rants, Studies

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:07 PM

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Adventurous Monday morning!!!

Reached office this morning at 8.15am and proceed to get the documents ready for the trainer's india visa application.
Had asked the applicant to fill up the required forms to shorten the time required as the courier doesn't wait.
But the applicant did not do it and we couldn't pass the courier anything when he was here.

Called up the travel consultant and the agent actually suggest that we bring the documents down to their office to pass to the visa officer.
No choice, I did as instructed.
Hopefully we are able to have the passport back by this Friday so that fellow have her passport to catch her flight on Sunday.

I slept at 4am last night..
Not because I don't wanna sleep but insomnia set in again..
Poor me..
I am like so stoned now...
My mind is totally blank!

Not going to class this evening.
Will be heading to the library@Bishan to borrow some books.
I haven't been reading as much as I wanted to.
And I think that is a shame.
I should read more..
Reading is a kind of therapy.
It makes you feel better and make u see others things that you have no way of seeing in real life..

I'm talking about non-fiction books.
Or books that reflect real life events.
Those are the books that make you see things differently..

Daddy's birthday today.
Mum called early in the morning to inform me of the dinner tonight.
Ya.. This is the main reason why I'm skipping class.. =P

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 9:00 AM

Friday, June 11, 2010

Labels: Songs

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 8:38 PM

Labels: Songs

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 8:29 PM

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Had a quarrel with Joe over gaming session last night..
The reason I'm upset with him is because despite repetitive pleas for him to stay with me, he chose to go to the gaming session.

I starting to think he might be having video game addiction.

Here is the symptom quoted from wikipedia

Excessive use of video games may have some or all of the symptoms of drug addiction or other proposed psychological addictions. Some players become more concerned with their interactions in the game than in their broader lives. Players may play many hours per day, gain or lose significant weight due to playing, disrupt sleep patterns to play, play at work, avoid phone calls from friends and/or lie about play time. Relationships with family and friends and performance at work or school may suffer. [3] [17]

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_addiction)

That explains why Joe has been losing weight at an alarming rate...

Also from wikipedia:

Globally, there have been deaths caused directly by exhaustion from playing games for excessive periods of time.[57] [58] There have also been deaths of gamers and/or others related to playing of video games.

It's scary to know that even games are detrimental!

------- Out for lunch -------

Had mixed vegetables for lunch.
Yupx, no rice..
I'm cutting down on carbo as that seems to aid weight loss.
the previous time I did this for 3 weeks without doing exercise and I lost 5kg.
Now I have integrated exercise into the programme, I'm sure I would get better result.

The other day, I realised that for this whole year, except bringing the kids to my mum's place, I have not brought them anywhere else.
They must be feeling terrible cooping at home all day.
Sometimes I blame it on my hubby for their plight.
He had the advantage of week-days off and could bring them out for a walk when most of the people are busy working.
That means shopping centres are not as crowded. More seats on public transports. Less people everywhere..
But he rather stay at home and game whole day then to spend some quality time with the kids?

Travis is big already. And he needs a male example to guide him through the next phase of his life.
I am his mother. But that doesn't mean that I am able to teach him everything.
Somethings would be better taught by someone of the same gender.

Starting from next month, I will make time out at least once every fortnight, to bring the kids out.
Anywhere it can be...
As long as they are not cooped in the house... =)

Met up with Alvin last night for the project.
Hub joined in later...
And the 3 of us sat at Starbucks for the project.
Hub was either browsing through the magazine or chatting with Alvin the whole time..
Disrupting the momentum >;<
Alvin, on the other hand, was either chatting with hub or on his phone...
The time he put into the project is like 10% of the whole time he was there...
unequal amount of time & effort contributed!!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:28 PM

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Meeting Alvin for FA project this evening.
Before that, I will need to meet Joe in Raffle Place to go to M1 to rectify the donker problem.

Charlene's 'I've never been to me' always bring tears to my eyes whenever I listen to it.
Especially the part where she goes:

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

Yes..
I'm thinking of her again..
After so long, I still can't forget her..
Who would??
The mere thought of what I've lost is enough to make me cry like a baby.

Some people ask me why I know it's 'her' and not 'him'?
Easy..
Cos she was in me..
The kind of feeling...
I have never had 2nd thought that it is a 'she',
though that greed-driven doctor refuse to reveal the gender!

Back to the song:
There's this part of the song that I really love..
It goes:

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Hur~ Makes me think twice of 'going' paradise..
Paradise is fiction..
I rather want something more realistic..

When everyone is crazy over iPhone 4G, I set my eyes on another phone.
That is the Sprint HTC Evo 4G!

you can view the specs here:
http://now.sprint.com/firsts/evo4g/#/specs/

I'm gonna get it when it's launched in SG!!

Am already planning for my Europe trip for my 10th Wedding anniversay.
Planning to tour Western Europe as it has hold my interest for a long long time~
St Peter's Basilica in Vatican State, Colosseum in Italy, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Rhine Falls at Schauffhausen, black forest in Germany, Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris...
Just the thought of these places sets me dreaming of the day I could visit these places..

I wonder if a free & easy tour is possible...
Package tour is always so rush... I wanna have more time when visiting these places!

Labels: Studies, Wedding Anniversary

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 3:56 PM

Monday, June 07, 2010

The system is going hay-wire again!
That is what happen every monday morning..
But I love it!!
cos that means more down time for me to slack and do nothing... Officially~ =)

Went for a jog last evening and the one before last.
It feels really good!!!
I like the post-jog feeling.
It makes me feel more refreshed, and in turn lifted my spirit =D

Did not turn in as early as I wanted last night.
But I guess I drifted into dreamland before 12.30am - which is considerably early for a night owl like me.

Woke up once last night when hubby was back.
He did not help me rectify the laptop problem as promise... >;<

Was listening to this song by Jay Chou - 自导自演.
the rhythm is catchy and the lyrics cute.
Haha~ nice song..
I guess most guys will like the lyrics...
One part goes:

你发脾气说声这么响我不留在这里
对不起要走可以关门别太大力

Lol!!
Funny right?!

Gotta spend some time revising last week's lesson.
And also to read up on today's lesson.

POE - It's so similar to management accounting I've learnt in Kaplan.
But I am still having problem comprehending this subject...

Guess I am just too lazy to devote more time in it..
It's time to do some fine-tuning of my mind-set...

The government is giving money next month..
The final GST payout.
I'm gonna use this money to rebond my hair..
My hair is in total mess and I am experiencing bad hair day everyday!!!
Hate it!!!
Though many say I look better with curly hair, but I still like the convenience straight hair brings..:)
Guess I'm going to snip my hair shorter, and dye loud colour...
Another change of image..
But hope I won't look too ah lian with the new hair colour.. =P

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 12:03 PM

Sunday, June 06, 2010

My girls are meeting up for project discussion today.
Me??
I'm not attending. I'll be doing FA, so I would like to just focus on my FA for the time being.
As for POE??
I'm giving it up...
Not in the literal sense.
I will still be studying for it, but won't be expecting good grades for the project.
Everyone seems so slack this module..
So, ya...
Wouldn't dare to expect too much....

Expect to finish my FA project by this Wednesday, with or w/out that fellows help.
He can slack if he wants...
But I'm not doing that..
I am aiming for at least an A for FA and a B for POE.
I'm giving my all to get what I want..

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 4:37 PM