//...winter...\\

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

7 years! 7 years!!

Not 7 years itch.. Don't get me wrong~

Today is the 7th wedding anniversary of me and Joe..
Time really flies..
We've already been married for 7 years!!!

This is just the first 7 years..
We will have more to come... I'm sure!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:39 PM

Monday, March 29, 2010

Busy Monday!! But I like it..
Busy mind will have no time for idle thoughts.=)

Joe is finding trouble with me again.
He is not at all understanding of my current situation.
Whatever he wants, he wants it by hook or by crook.
What can I do??
I can only give him what he wants to stop him from all his 'stunts'.
He seems more like a f*cking jerk when he tries to be funny!

Nowadays, it seems like death penalty when I shop for my own stuff.
Can't he just understand that I need to pamper myself sometimes too??
Doesn't he remember those time when I'm so strapped for cash that I even have to skip lunch to get by??
Doesn't he remember how I stood by him at his lowest point??
I think he must have clean forgotten about it.
I wonder how could he still do this to me if he remembers.

Woke up early this morning and manage to chant 3 rounds of mantra and a 5 mins meditation after that.
And it proves to be a better way to start my day.
I feel more positive and motivated!!
Guess I should end my day with 2 rounds of jog around my neighbourhood, that would be perfect!!

Had a bad bad dream last night that got me woke up in fear.
That dream was scary, damn scary!!!
Thinking about it now still give me the creeps!!!
If that dream was ever real, I would grind the bast*rd who do this to my precious!!!

大哥 has been calling me 师奶 for the past 2 weeks, and it's tickling whoever who hears it.
Was supposed to have a revision with him last Saturday night.
But, as ususal, we ended up chatting about other things.
We talked about the worth of women, and he mentioned that a woman's worth depreciate once she's married or with children.
I couldn't agree with what he said.

I do not wish to put forth my arguement here.
Just hope that guys out there learn how to respect and value women according to their achievements and not their marital status.
That is the most unfair evaluation system I ever known!

Mentioned about the stress I am feeling due to the coming exam to 大哥 the other night.
He advised me to relax (like how anyone would advise when was told the same thing)
and mentioned about the dinner he will be taking us (me and my classmates) after the exam as my birthday celebration.
I was quite surprised when he mentioned it cos I thought he was just pulling my legs when he told me this few weeks ago.
A little touched by his gesture when he told me he was serious.
I mean, we only known each other for barely 3 months..
If he didn't really take me as friend, he needn't spend this kind of money...

Talking about my birthday, Ghim said he had already got me my pressie.
I am touched, really...
We've known each other for so long but this is the first time he got me a pressie.
That shows how strong our friendship is!!
Hahahaha!!!

Hmm... I'm blessed, afterall.... =)

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 2:57 PM

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'm having the pre-exam anxiety again!!! Though this paper I'm taking is a thousand and one time easier than the few I took previously, I can still feel the anxiety!! Guess I'm pushing myself too hard.

Last lesson today. We'll have a week's break before we have our exams. You can call that week a break, but I think it's more like a week for last minute revision.

Call up Kaplan the other day to enquire on the next intake of the course I took previously. I want to take both course concurrently to save time. Time is precious, is it not??? If I can take both tgt, I can get my CAT cert one year earlier. Isn't that a good thing??

Travis is not performing in his school work. I think I need to send him for
tuition. Am considering Kumon. Received several positive feedback from some friends on their training materials as well as teaching method. But their price is a little steep though.:(

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:00 PM

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Not being able to concentrate on anything recently.. Down with flu and cough... The delong is terrible.. Rhys had a fall last evening that cause his elbow to be dislocated.. The nurse at the triage, KKH had already fixed his hand when I reached.. Luckily!!!

Am hooked on this song that was sung by a singer not known to me years ago - 连贝多芬都想告诉你. A very nice & emo song recommended by our da ge, Alvin.

Many ppl ask me why I call him 大哥. Seriously, I also have no idea.. It just comes out naturally.. I feel weird calling him 'Alvin'. Maybe due to the fact that we have 2 Alvins in our class, that's why I call him 大哥 for easy recognition.

I'ts funny how children can fill the gap between a couple. I was having a big row with Joe yesterday afternoon. In the evening, when he called to say that Rhys was hurt, the anger I had towards him miraculously disappeared and was replaced by anxious concern for my son. I made a few calls to him b4 I reached the hospital. And gradually my tone towards him changed better. By the time we left the hospital, we were chatting happily.. Funny, right??

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 6:21 PM

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Good morning everyone!

It's been a long time since I start my blog with such high spirit!
Of course, when you have finally sort things (thoughts, in my case) out, you will be in the same spirit as me!

I promised my sis, or rather myself, to fine tune my mentality & my emotions.
And I think over the weekend, I succeed in doing so.

What's the issue that I've been brooding over for so long??
haha! That, only those closest to me would know..

For the rest of my post, I'm gonna post it in my private blog..

I'll post again in another few days.. When there's something worth posting.

Till then, take care folks!!!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 8:58 AM

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Someone called me this afternoon.
Someone whom I have no impression of totally.
But I'm glad she called..

This person is none other than my dad's sister.
I think the last time I saw her was 20 years ago.

I have totally no impression of her at all, really!
But we had a good chat through the phone this afternoon..
Sweet~

Meeting Alvin for revision tomorrow.
My dear pretty is not coming tomorrow.
So that left with only me and Alvin..

QS quiz on Thursday..
I got full marks for the previous quiz, can't get anything lower this time..
That wouldn't be good.

Listening to 'Eternal love' from PJ & Duncan now.
Miss those times when I first heard this song..
I was only about 10 or so..
Those times... so carefree!!

Just painted my nails..
I know what will Joe say when he saw this, but I wan to clarify:
I didnt make myself pretty for 'his'eyes, ok!!!!!

Did a bad job on it.. Especially my toe nails.
Guess I gotta brush up on my skills..
Or I can choose to go for professional service..
Who wanna sponsor me?

All alone now..
Joe went to work..
The kids are asleep...
Haiz~ Boring, lonely~

Think my nails are dry enough for me to sleep..
Not feeling well.
Will be on MC tomorrow..
Gotta sleep soon..
Tata everyone~

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 12:29 AM

Monday, March 15, 2010

I'm not a good mother.

My comment is supported by a series of event that happened recently.

Few days back, we were in MacDonalds.
Travis did something that made me angry and I gave him a slap, just like that.

One morning few days before, MIL woke me up and complained about Travis not doing his homework and stuff.
With a few other things that came to light at once, I blew up.
I broke my own rule of not hitting the kids more than 3 stroke at any one time.

Together with some other small matters that I mishandled, it seems more amd more like I'm not doing a good job as a mother.

I havent been spending quality time with the kids since I started on my current course..
Hubby, as usual, is not being helpful at all.
I'm up to my neck with all the things screaming for attention, I'm really at my wits ends!
I feel so suffocated!!!!!!!!

Studies - My kids and mine;
The maid - Renewal of passport and work permit, purchase of insurance.
Monthly expenses

Arghh!!! I'm going crazy soon!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:04 PM

Friday, March 12, 2010

My pretty is complaining about how emo my blog is..
I should think of something 'positive' to blog soon...
But for now, it will be another emo post... in my private blog!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:25 AM

Monday, March 08, 2010

歌手：张惠妹专辑：我要快乐

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Labels: Songs

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 2:11 PM

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Accompany Angela to her work place last night..
She quitted her job, so she went over to return the keys and to collect her stuff.

Went Jalan Besar for supper after that and we stayed till 1.30am in the morning chatting away.
Told her what's really in my mind. Feels really good after that.
At least, I have someone whom I can really talk to. Say what I really want without having to withhold any information.

Her advice - Know what you are doing and never hurt anyone around you.

I know.. That's why I'm having such a hard time now!!!
Restraint, self-restraint - this is what I should step up on it now...

R/s with Joe - Fine... Or I should say better then the past.
But it doesn't feel good being the target of suspicions..
And that, more or less, hurt the relationship.

I know you are trying to show me more attention now...
But... The right time has passed...
Though I really appreciate your effort, I can never revert to who I was in the past...
It's not realistic to expect me to do that..

Just like you are the Joey now and I can't expect you to be the one you were before we married.

Love is still there...
Feeling is still there.. Still strong...
But all I can say is not as strong as what it was like in the past....

If you think a little deeper, you will understand that it's not because I've changed but nature's work.
Initial stage of relationship, everything will be at its peak.
Love, passion, etc...
But as time slowly goes by, these feelings will fade gradually till it left with only love, no passion...

Don't read too deep into it, put our r/s aside and think generally...
Do you agree with what I just said?
I think you do....

I should put r/s problem aside and focus more on other things..
I hate having such problems..
It makes me feel so weak......

I'll have a month's break after my current modules end.
I thnk it will be a good cool off period...
I have lesser things on hand screaming for attention = more time to think of our relationship...

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 12:48 PM