//...winter...\\

Sunday, May 31, 2009

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:58 PM

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Lady Luck have forgotten me, obviously...
Things have not been going well for me.
Friends suggest that I go see a 'shi fu'
who might give me some good advice.

I dunno...
I feel like giving up..
Life is a constant struggle..
And I'm sick and tired of it.
I know I'm being very pessimistic.
I hope to be happier and have a more positive state of mind too.
But like what I've said, that seems to defy the force of nature...
So i have to be in a constant struggle.

I might lose my job anytime...

My marriage is failing..

I have 3 kids to feed...

I have loans to service and bills to pay...

With such bleak future..
How can someone be that all optimistic??
Or maybe I'm just a lousy pessimist...
*shrug*

Sometimes I forget what am I fighting for until I heard
someone call 'Mummy!'.
Then I realized that I am a mother.
And I am my children's warrior...
Ever fight I put up is for my children....
And so, my strength comes from within..
And I have the will to fight again...

It's not hard to find strength when they all around you....
I just hope that my 'strengths' will be there until the battle is won...
When that times comes...
I will be happy to embrace whatever is in front of me...
All good and bad...
Without regrets~

Labels: marriage, mood, uncertainties

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:12 PM

Thursday, May 28, 2009

my predecessor has left on Tuesday.
Leaving me knowing nothing when I took over her place.
F*ck!!!!!

But I'm glad she left..
Ihave never seen anyone like her..
As if everyone owes her a million bucks!

I'm afraid that I am too stupid/too slow and my co. will ask me to go anytime.
It's really fat pace there..
Stressful!

But I really hope i can perform.
I dun mind working late or OT.
As long as I can stay in the job~
(Yes, I'm desperate!)

I went for my paper 2 exam today.
And I'm glad that I passed!!!!!
Not with flying colours but better result than the last. =)
Paper 3 and 4 for start in July.
So I have slightly more than a month to play a fool
and enjoy myself!
Who wanna bring me, a mountain tortoise, out for fun?

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 9:25 PM

Monday, May 25, 2009

OMG!!!!
What the hell happened to Brendon Fraser?!?!?
I got a huge shock when I saw the pics..
Such a big difference btwn the 1st and 3rd pics.

1st pic - Hunk
3rd pic - ......... *speechless*

Richard Gere look so handsome..... 30 years ago~
=X

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 8:50 PM

Sunday, May 24, 2009

You know i still LOVE you baby,
And it will never change

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why are you trying to push me away?
you know that I hate it,
you ignore what im saying
Why are you trying to send me to other?
You push me away like a little
each day why?

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

All the pushing won't change my feelings
I am happy to have you,
more than willing to please you
i'm begging you please
don't walk away from me
Coz' i can't be happy away
from your side

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want nobody, body
I don't want nobody, body
Life is unperfect without seeing you
I cannot have anyone but you... ahhh

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Rap:
BacK to the days when we were
so young and wild and free
Everything we had back then
was like a dream
If only i could turn back time
Why do you keep on pushing me away?
why do you push me away?
I don't want nobody, nobody,
nobody. nobody but you

Labels: Songs

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 4:11 PM

Lost last night @ dunno where!
Went to PH with Yuhui and when we leave,
she was dead drunk.
I was concentrating on taking care of her.
I thought my hp was in my pocket but when
I wanted to call my hubby to come downstair to help me
bring Yuhui to my house,
I realized that my HP was not with me.
Damn!

I might lose it in PH's toilet..
In the smoking terrace...
(when we brought Yuhui out for a 'breather' before we leave that place)
Or in the cab....

Either way, I can never retrieve my hp again!
I lost all the contacts in that phone....
So if you can, pls email me ur hp number..
So we can all keep in contact.

I took great care of Yuhui's HP.
But I lost my own...

Haiz~

Labels: FB Quote, Rants

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 3:53 PM

Saturday, May 23, 2009

See that!!!
Even the quiz said so!!!!!

Labels: FB Quiz

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 6:17 PM

Friday, May 22, 2009

I should phrase it in another way to truly express myself.

I used to thought that being a good mum
= stay at home all day and tend to the kids.

Mummies who have some little time for themselves
= selfish / irresponsible... etc etc

But now I understand that mummies need to have
some time for themselves to unwind.

休息是为了走更长更远的路。。。

Labels: FB Quote

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 7:41 PM

If I didn't post it in FB big & clear,
who would have known that I am not happy??

No one~
No one bothers, that's why..

*Shrug

Labels: FB Quote

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 7:35 PM

We all have to responsible for our own action.
No one can receive the rewards/punishment on your behalf.

The way you have been treating me all along..
I dun understand your action..
Why is it always a black face when you're with me
and the kids??
What have I done to make you hate me so much?

I know I have a foul mouth..
I know I always nag at you.
But compare to the things I've done for you...
Am I still that detestable???

I'm a human being..
No matter how much you hurt you,
I'll go numb sooner or later...

By then...
I will not be the same Isabella as I am now...

Labels: FB Quote, marriage, mood

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 7:21 PM

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Testing testing, 1 2 3..
Kekex~

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:53 PM

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

FB Quote: You get some, you lose some~

Why:
I lost my job.
I was retrenched.
I got a new job that I dun like initially.
But you know what I found out today???
I am actually an Accounts Asst cum Admin.

Hahaha!!!

I have been looking high ad low for a job
that is related to what I am studying..
And now.. Taa-daah~
I got it!!!

I almost gave up this job this morning..
I almost called the person-in-charge
and tell her that I'm not going to work.
But a voice at the back of my head stopped me from doing that..

And boy, I was glad I didn't act rashly!!!

Congratulate me, everyone!!!!

Labels: FB Quote

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 7:29 PM

FB Quote: It hurts.. alot!

Why: I was hurt by reality.
*Let me continue dreaming...
But life is not a bed of roses..
And I have to wake up from my dream.
My grandpa is not there to love me anymore.
I am no more the little girl I used to be.

Labels: FB Quote

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 7:23 PM

I think it's better that:

we keep our conversation 'chop-chop' in future
Meet lesser. Maybe once a month or so. Depends..
Contact only when necessary.

I feel like an outcast.

I know.. All of you will say that I'm sensitive again.
But given the treatments I received from all of you
(or any of you), I dun think it will be fair to say
that I am sensitive.

You guys do things together
while I feel like an outcast when I was there.
I feel the same when we have meals together.
You guys talk and chat among yourself.
Whatever I was saying then will always be cut
halfway by your conversation with him, or the others.
He is glad to be at your service, all of you,
but is reluctant to include me in anything..

Ok, I'm sensitive..

But I feel good getting off my chest.
Without having to be responsible for any consequences..
*Cos no one 'there' will be bothered about what's written here...

I need not be sensitive towards any of your feelings
if no one 'there' is sensitive towards my feeling.

Yes, I'm selfish..
Selfishness was cultivated (in me).
No one gives a damn about me all the while..
So I have to be selfish to protect myself..

Think whatever you want.
See whatever you want...
Dun expect me to be bothered about how you feel towards me..

I will live my own life.
No one can judge me..

Labels: mood

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 6:59 PM

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Movie: Angels & Demons
Rating: ¤¤¤

Comments: I heard that this movie was not as good as it's storybook.
The storyline is different and is condemned by readers
who have read the storybook before.
I was quite skeptical before the movie starts.
But it turns out that it was unnecessary.
It holds my attention from start till end.
And I think it is even better then Da Vinci Code.
Maybe it was because I have not read the book yet.
But I think the movie was really thumbs up!

Labels: Movies

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 9:30 PM

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I started my new job on Thursday.
Three days after I was retrenched.
I think I am considered lucky to find another job so soon
with benefits comparable with my previous Co.

My new workplace is OK.
The people there are quite nice.
Need not follow any dress code.
You can wear anything you like as long as it's presentable.

Working hours are quite long actually.
Thought the official working time is 9am-6pm,
but all of my new colleagues still stay there after 6pm.
I would have to work till 5pm on alternate Saturdays.

Lunch is provided.
And I can walk there i/o of taking bus.
It would take me half an hour of traveling time + $$$ by bus,
and the same amt of time -$$$ + exercise by foot.
So I rather choose the latter..

I hope I can stay i this job...
I hate changing jobs all the time..

Will update more when I have time..
See ya~

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:44 PM

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A good news and a bad news, which one do you wanna know first?

To link the whole thing up, I'll start with the bad news first.

I was being retrenched.

I can see many opened mouths and hear many 'huhs' already...
Shocked, huh?
I was too...

But I guess I should be glad they ask me to go now then later.
At least the market is sill not that bad,
I can still find jobs if I am willing to lower my expectatons.

Yes, they did compensate me.
But not much.
But compare the length of service I provided,
the compensation was quite reasonable.

I guess we call this the 'sixth sense'.
I told Bren and Chyn that I dunno when will be my turn to go..
And they kept saying I will be the last to be affected
as I drew the least pay in my whole organization.
And there's only one admin ard, even though Molly is also
handling admin matters but she is considered as Secretary to MD.

Less than 2 weeks later...
Ta-da~

Yu wei asked me to follow him.
I was binding some company brochure then.
I tot he need me to do something,
but find it kind of wierd when he lead me into an office.
When I saw who was behind that table,
I knew what was to follow..
And true enough, he told me there's some bad news..
And blah blah blah blah blah....

I guess you know what's the 'blahs' all about~

They kept reassuring me there's nothing to do with my performance.
They thank me for my service there and apologize for what have to be done..
I was quite calm actually throughout the whole meeting with the HR director.

Yuwei talked to me after that.
And said to let him know if I need his help.
I dunno what to ask from him.
So I thank him saying I will, if I need any help from him..

He organize a 'farewell lunch' for me today.
We had our lunch at Black Canyon.
Situated somewhere near Katong.
I had a great lunch..
Though it's kind of sad...
Well, I'll see them again at Sherine's wedding.
So I guess I need not miss them that long~

Here's some pics taken during lunch..

Me & Chyn in office.

Jeff, our 财神爷 (A/C Manager), and William.

Tang with Xenia

This pic consist of ppl from QS, A/Cs,
operation and admin Depts.

(Front to back)
Lih Chyn, Chong & Leow.

(Left to right)
Matt, Molly, Tang & Xenia

The first half. Those that was there first.
There's more to come~

Sherine, the bride to be, on the left
& Chyn on the right.

1st half group pics~

(Left) Adrian, Audi, Alvin, Sherine, Belle, Chyn, Chong & Leow
(Right) YuWei, Gerrard, William, Jedd, Tang, Molly & Matt
Photographer: Xenia

I think I left out the good news, which is:

I found a new job and will be starting soon!

Hopefully I can stay long in this job..
I'm scared of hiccups..
I dun wan them anymore!!!!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 1:09 AM

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Today is mother's day, so let me start by wishing all mothers a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

My mil birthday coincide with this year's mother's day,
so we have a little cake cutting ceremony after dinner.

Dariz came home on Friday night with a card and
a art piece made by him.
Once he stepped into the room, he came to me and say
'Mummy, Happy Mother's Day!!!! 那，这个给你！'
I took it from him and saw 2 little flowers cut out from the magazine
and 母亲节快乐 written on it.
I cannot explain the kind of feeling at that time.
I cannot put the feelings into precise words..
That kind of feeling......
You will only know when you have experienced it.
It's even better than striking lottery.

We had our dinner tonight at a small coffee shop near out place.
We had 4 dishes and it cost us $52 after discount.
A plate of 小白菜 cost us $10.
I got a shock when I saw the receipt..
It's simply daylight robbery! ! !
Hubby said this will be the last time we go to that coffee shop.
We will never go there again.

After dinner, we walked back to the block where we stay.
So we told MIL that we're going to collect the cake
and asked them to return home first.
MIL told me that she have no keys, so I turn to hubby and ask for the keys.
Hubby told me he have no keys, and both of them look at me.
I tell them I never bring keys out when I'm with them,
so 3 of us turn at look at my maid.
My maid tell us that she didn't bring the keys out as well.
Hola! ! !
No keys to go home after a s*cks-to-the-core dinner.
We have no choice but to call my FIL who was at Chinatown at that time.
We took a cab down to Outram MRT station to collect the keys from him
before taking another cab back to AMK.
It cost me $20 for the trip back and fro.
But it's still cheaper than calling the locksmith.

Here are some pics we took today during the cake cutting ceremony:

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:04 PM

Friday, May 08, 2009

YES!!!
Mas Selamat was arrested!!!!!!!

That big bad egg!!!!!

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090507/tap-691-mas-selamat-reportedly-arrested-231650b.html

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:09 AM

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

My exam is coming.
And I have so little time to do practices.
I have stopped reading story books and have
changed to read my lecture notes instead.

Now then I understand why some friends said
that they'll fall asleep when studying,
because that's what happened to me exactly last evening!!!

I was on my way home.
I had my Ipod on and was reading my pocket notes.
Halfway through I fell asleep.
I vaguely remember I woke up few stops before my destination,
but I think I fell asleep again cos when I really woke up.
I was 2 stops after my destinated stop.

I'm too stress up, I think!

Just had a talk with Travis Form Teacher.
Travis fell down yesterday and have 2 black bruises
on his legs 2 inches below the knees.
Initially he claimed that that was mosquito bites.
I told him that was obviously bruises and pressed
him further on how he got it..
He admitted he fell in the end.
So we asked him how he fell and stuff like that.
He said he fell in school and knocked against the table.
After he told us the story, my mil was furious that the
teacher neither apply medication for him
nor inform us when Travis fell.
So she went to the school and look for Teacher Rose,
who is the Form Teacher, to clarify the whole matter with her.

Teacher Rose checked with the students and other teachers
and everyone said nothing happened yesterday.
She checked with Travis and Travis said that he fell
at home, knocked against the table, yesterday morning.
He claimed that I knew he fell and was there to helped him up when he fell.
That is totally impossible!
I was out for work every morning around 7.15am.
They only wake up around 8am every morning.
How is it possible that I am there to witness the fall??

It's either the teacher or my Travis is making up stories.
I will have to go back and check with Travis, again.
Hopefully he'll com clean with me..

This boy..
I just dunno how to describe him..
He's a loner.
He dun mind being alone in a large group of people.
He will isolate himself..
Unless you take the initiative and play/talk with him.
If not he'll just be alone.

Teacher Rose said that too..
He said that was how Travis behaves in school.
He will not even ask a question when he dun
understand what the teacher was talking about.

I have made an appointment with KKH Children's Dev Specialist on 1 June 2009.
I will have to ask teacher to write me a letter on how is Travis behaving in school and stuffs.
Hopefully this can help my little precious..

My company have wanted to give us each a termometer
to take our temp in the morning and afternoon after lunch.
(Yes, it's the Influenza A's fault!)
But termometer is out of stock and we have not received ours yet.
Other subsidiaries have already started the take-temperature thingy..
All.. except us..
How 'lucky' we are...
*roll eye*

I will have to go buy some hand sanitizer,
some wet wipes for me and the kids.
And some mask, just in case hubby or me fell sick,
we will have to wear it.

Whenever the weather turns hot,
contagious disease will start spreading..
Haiz~
How I wish to stay in some cool, nice place...

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:19 AM

Saturday, May 02, 2009

The lady on the right is my grandma,
And the one on the left is her sister, my grandaunt.
Grandaunt is a nice person.
She really cares alot for my grandma.
This photo was taken during Orion's chalet.
We brought the kids to Changi beach.
Grandma and grandaunt came after that.

I sat there, near the steps, taking photos
of the sea, people, everything around me.
Den I saw the two of them walking around,
And I thought:
Would my sister and I be walking down the beach 40 years later?
Is that possible?
Will our relationship still be that strong??

You know, things are hard to say.
We dunno when will we turn our back on each other.
I treasure my kinship,
and I hope that it will not fall apart easily.
But...
Not all things go according to your wishes....

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 11:02 AM