Sunday, February 08, 2009
Met up with Mel & Amanda last night for supper.
Dear Dear test-drive Mel's car after that...
That was the first time he drive a car after he got his license..
Me & Sis went to visit our paternal grandma,
someone we have little contact over the years..
Mum & pa was divorced when we were little,
so we have literally no contact with them after the divorce.
It was only during the process of applying special permit
for my ROM that we came in contact with my pa.
Sis missed grandma, so she suggest that we go over and
visit them whenever we can.
She doesn't want any regrets later in life,
& neither do I.
So I agreed to visit them too...
Though I have totally no recollection of hw do they look like..
Or in what way they play a part in my first few years..
Grandma told me something today which shock me..
Even till now..
She said that after my parent's divorce,
my dad's new wife once suggest that my grandma
take me back from my mum to stay with them since
she is a Malaysian and will be staying in her own country
most of the time..
I only remember that she's big..
My sis remember that she's mean..
She doesn't give me good impression.
I'm glad my grandma didnt agree to it
cos I think my life will be worse off staying without my mum..
Contradicting, I know~
From what I always say about my mum,
I give ppl the impression that I blame her for most
things that happen to me..
But then again, comparing one woman who is my mum with another
who will be my 'new mum'
I think life will definitely be better with my biological mum...
But what pass is pass...
I dun wanna know and think so much anymore..
Life is already hard as it is..
And life is never about making merries all day long (I know)
I just want peaceful life....
Not stories that no ppl can change to make my life worse...
Given the situation I'm in now,
I would rather spend more time reflecting on myself.
A bad mum, a bad wife, a bad daughter...
How & what can i do to improve myself...
One thing I have to learn like a baby, is to
control my temper..
And that is to not flare up easily..
It's nt easy to keep yourself under control under
some stressful situation...
吃得苦中苦,方为人上人
This is definitely what I'm working forward to...
IcYb3|| counted
snowflakes at 4:56 AM