Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I'm tired of living in this samsaric world where pain and sufferings are everyday thing. How i wonder i can be wise enough to attained enlightenment like Sikyamuni buddha and be free from the samsara; Live in eternal bliss and emptiness....
How do you judge a person??? From his character, or his behaviour? By how much harm he has done to you and how much pain he has inflicted on you??? By his look, wealth, influence, status, his knowledge, his success or just purely by your heart? Are we, as normal human beings in this samsaric world, right to judge anyone and be judged in return??? Are we correct in our judgement or are all things in this world a delusion???
Feeling very unhappy recently due to some problems (Or should i say some conflicts in my family). Some feelings that have been kept in the darker realm of my heart surface again after so many months. Maybe it's because this is not the first time I'm having this kind of feeling or maybe it's due to my intensive reading in books on the teaching of Buddhism, I find that i can handle this feeling better now.
We're being judged by any other person everyday. Be it on the clothes we wear, the way we present ourselves or whatever.. We are being judged. And we are also doing the same to other people too. But is it right for us to judge others??? We all know that no one is perfect in this world. We have flaws that we are aware of and flaws that we are not aware of. By judging others, are we trying to say that we are actually better then them? I don't know, frankly. Knowing how to judge a person is actually good in a sense that we know who are the ones we can learn from and who are the one we have to shun from. We learn not only from those superior to us but also those inferior to us. I guess one have to have a neutral heart in order to benefit from learning.
~Back to topic~
I really hate the feeling of being judge by people, especially those who are closed to me. In my case, to be exact, I am being criticised. But criticism arise from judgement, isn't that right? My mother in law finds me too lazy, too dependant on others, too playful, too wilfull.....*the list goes on* Sometimes, I just can't help having the feeling that if she have the power to change anything, the first thing she'll change is her daughter-in-law( and that's yours truly)... I dun understand why am i such a thorn in her neck sometimes. Am i really that bad?? *<Maybe>* I've tried to reach her expectation, but failed. And i wonder if she's too demanding or am i too incompetent???
Sometimes, I even have the feeling that it's wrong to even step out of the door. Cos it seems like whenever i wanted to go out for a walk, I would be reprimended. Why is that so? I ask myself. What is it that she actually wants from me?? Am i being too irresponsible to just go out for a walk?? Really, i'm confused too!!! 2 yrs follow my marriage, I dunno how to differentiate right and wrong. Sometimes I thought what i did was right, but i was scolded. Things that i thought wasn't correct to do was deem the right way by my in laws. I started to live in fear at that period. For fear of being scolded for doing the wrong thing. I started to ask everybody about that particular thing before i started to do it. Come to think of it, I really dunno how i survived through those few years. I was in depression then and i felt like the whole world was against me. I wanted to die but the lack of courage hold me back. I yearned for affirmation and love. How i wish for someone to tell me that it's ok to do things according to my own will and that they'll still love me even if I didn't do things correctly. But no one did that to me, not even my husband. And it was really very saddening...
I learn to let things go. I can forgive but i can't forget.. I dunno why... I know it's no good and I'm now trying to improve on it. I live happier now even though every now and then I will still get upset over some things. Sometimes i really yearn for a 'single' life. No family, no commitment. Maybe I won't feel so stressed up then. But what done cannot be undone and life still has to goes on. Make the best out of everything.. And i guess life would be much happier... =)
Dwelling on the past would be of no use... Look into the future and start weaving your web. That'll bring you to where you want... ;-)
How do you judge a person??? From his character, or his behaviour? By how much harm he has done to you and how much pain he has inflicted on you??? By his look, wealth, influence, status, his knowledge, his success or just purely by your heart? Are we, as normal human beings in this samsaric world, right to judge anyone and be judged in return??? Are we correct in our judgement or are all things in this world a delusion???
Feeling very unhappy recently due to some problems (Or should i say some conflicts in my family). Some feelings that have been kept in the darker realm of my heart surface again after so many months. Maybe it's because this is not the first time I'm having this kind of feeling or maybe it's due to my intensive reading in books on the teaching of Buddhism, I find that i can handle this feeling better now.
We're being judged by any other person everyday. Be it on the clothes we wear, the way we present ourselves or whatever.. We are being judged. And we are also doing the same to other people too. But is it right for us to judge others??? We all know that no one is perfect in this world. We have flaws that we are aware of and flaws that we are not aware of. By judging others, are we trying to say that we are actually better then them? I don't know, frankly. Knowing how to judge a person is actually good in a sense that we know who are the ones we can learn from and who are the one we have to shun from. We learn not only from those superior to us but also those inferior to us. I guess one have to have a neutral heart in order to benefit from learning.
~Back to topic~
I really hate the feeling of being judge by people, especially those who are closed to me. In my case, to be exact, I am being criticised. But criticism arise from judgement, isn't that right? My mother in law finds me too lazy, too dependant on others, too playful, too wilfull.....*the list goes on* Sometimes, I just can't help having the feeling that if she have the power to change anything, the first thing she'll change is her daughter-in-law( and that's yours truly)... I dun understand why am i such a thorn in her neck sometimes. Am i really that bad?? *<Maybe>* I've tried to reach her expectation, but failed. And i wonder if she's too demanding or am i too incompetent???
Sometimes, I even have the feeling that it's wrong to even step out of the door. Cos it seems like whenever i wanted to go out for a walk, I would be reprimended. Why is that so? I ask myself. What is it that she actually wants from me?? Am i being too irresponsible to just go out for a walk?? Really, i'm confused too!!! 2 yrs follow my marriage, I dunno how to differentiate right and wrong. Sometimes I thought what i did was right, but i was scolded. Things that i thought wasn't correct to do was deem the right way by my in laws. I started to live in fear at that period. For fear of being scolded for doing the wrong thing. I started to ask everybody about that particular thing before i started to do it. Come to think of it, I really dunno how i survived through those few years. I was in depression then and i felt like the whole world was against me. I wanted to die but the lack of courage hold me back. I yearned for affirmation and love. How i wish for someone to tell me that it's ok to do things according to my own will and that they'll still love me even if I didn't do things correctly. But no one did that to me, not even my husband. And it was really very saddening...
I learn to let things go. I can forgive but i can't forget.. I dunno why... I know it's no good and I'm now trying to improve on it. I live happier now even though every now and then I will still get upset over some things. Sometimes i really yearn for a 'single' life. No family, no commitment. Maybe I won't feel so stressed up then. But what done cannot be undone and life still has to goes on. Make the best out of everything.. And i guess life would be much happier... =)
Dwelling on the past would be of no use... Look into the future and start weaving your web. That'll bring you to where you want... ;-)
IcYb3|| counted
snowflakes at 11:00 PM
Profile
I like to take life easy,
but that seems to defy the force of nature.
So here I am, struggling day after day,
trying to make life easier for me & my love ones.
I try to love everyone around me
But I am no saint.
I'm working hard on it.
I love my family.
I love everything I have.
I am extremely stubborn.
I am very mood-swing
And I do things according to my own wish
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click
here if you hate it.
Archives
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
November 2011
December 2011
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
December 2012
January 2013
May 2013
June 2013
September 2013
November 2013
December 2013
June 2014
October 2014
Places to Go
۩ Aries
۩ Ines
۩ CD Blogz
۩ Andrea
۩ alan andon
۩ grace
۩ Li juan
۩ Lady Laroche
۩ ebuzz
۩ moonbebe
۩ Jasmine
۩ Eason Chan
۩ kaixin
۩ jouir boutique
۩ Pat Mok
۩ Moiseur
۩ xiiaoblack
۩ SMH
۩ Agnes
۩ abc's mummy
۩ Singapore maid
۩ Charlene
۩ Kim
۩ Veenaa
۩ Hanlin
۩ Ryan Tan
۩ Yapzai
۩ Brenda
۩ Jon
۩ Joyce
۩ Hazel-fen
۩ Belle's Diary
۩ Midnight Sun
۩ Tamarind Phonics
۩ How to teach Phonics?
Food
۩ wholesome baby food
۩ Kitchen Caper
۩ The birthday Shop
۩ ecreative
۩ The Patissier
۩ The Cupcake Fantasy
۩
۩ Dumex Homemade Recipe
Phonics
۩ How to teach phonics
۩ Reading using the Ladybird series of books
۩ How phonics make spelling very easy
۩ Do not flash the cards !
۩ Making phonics and reading more interesting
۩ StarFall
Mixes in Life
Loves .
01 My Life!
02 My boys
03 Starry Nights
04 The 7 Seas
05 The warm sand
06 Nature
02 My boys
03 Starry Nights
04 The 7 Seas
05 The warm sand
06 Nature
Hates .
01 Being left-out
02Empty promises
03dark chocolate
04bittergourd
02
03
04
Wishes .
01 CAT Cert
02 Taiwan Trip
03 Driving License
04 Money Money Money
05 WORLD PEACE =DDDD
02 Taiwan Trip
03 Driving License
04 Money Money Money
05 WORLD PEACE =DDDD
Credits
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com
Mood
Music Playlist at MixPod.com
Quote of the Day
-Anne Bradstreet (1612 - 1672)
Tagboard
Misc.