Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Life is full of ups & downs.. Everyone knows that.. And i learn to take everything in my stride. Try to live life to the fullest. And try to let those i love know how much i love them. Ever since grandpi's death, life hasn't been kind to me..
I thought for a very long time. Why am i feeling so terrible after grandpi is gone? I've tried my best to be by his side when he was in hospital. And everyone knows that I'm worried for him, I cared for him. And I know that myself too... But why am i feeling so terrible???
Finally, after weeks of struggle, i realised why.
I feel terrible because I had never done my part as a grand-daughter. I spent my times with frenx when i was young. And never once was i by his side when he needed me. Grandpi can sacrifice everything for me, for us... But never once did i sacrifice anything for him. I wasn't even there when he pass away. See... I'm a selfish bitch!!!!
Nothing i do now will help. No matter how i cry, how i blame myself, or what i do, grandpi will never come back to life. I have no chance to make amendments. I will have to live with this regret for as long as i live. Blaming myself, cursing myself all my life... I will never feel good again. Unless i leave Singapore, I will always think of grandpi. We have too much memory together. Everywhere i go, I'll see him holding my hand, walking side by side, enjoying ourselves. He's the one i love most... Though he's dead, but he will always be in my heart.
All i hope now is him to rest in peace.
And if there's really next life... If we really do have reincarnation, I do hope that he'll be my grandpi again. Having him as my grandfather is one of the biggest blessing i got in my life!
GRANDPI, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I thought for a very long time. Why am i feeling so terrible after grandpi is gone? I've tried my best to be by his side when he was in hospital. And everyone knows that I'm worried for him, I cared for him. And I know that myself too... But why am i feeling so terrible???
Finally, after weeks of struggle, i realised why.
I feel terrible because I had never done my part as a grand-daughter. I spent my times with frenx when i was young. And never once was i by his side when he needed me. Grandpi can sacrifice everything for me, for us... But never once did i sacrifice anything for him. I wasn't even there when he pass away. See... I'm a selfish bitch!!!!
Nothing i do now will help. No matter how i cry, how i blame myself, or what i do, grandpi will never come back to life. I have no chance to make amendments. I will have to live with this regret for as long as i live. Blaming myself, cursing myself all my life... I will never feel good again. Unless i leave Singapore, I will always think of grandpi. We have too much memory together. Everywhere i go, I'll see him holding my hand, walking side by side, enjoying ourselves. He's the one i love most... Though he's dead, but he will always be in my heart.
All i hope now is him to rest in peace.
And if there's really next life... If we really do have reincarnation, I do hope that he'll be my grandpi again. Having him as my grandfather is one of the biggest blessing i got in my life!
GRANDPI, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
IcYb3|| counted
snowflakes at 3:03 PM
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I like to take life easy,
but that seems to defy the force of nature.
So here I am, struggling day after day,
trying to make life easier for me & my love ones.
I try to love everyone around me
But I am no saint.
I'm working hard on it.
I love my family.
I love everything I have.
I am extremely stubborn.
I am very mood-swing
And I do things according to my own wish
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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