//...winter...\\

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Whenever i see friends referring to their daughter on FB as 'Princess', i feel a tinge of sweetness welling up in me. I know babies are angels to their parents. And when they refer to their kids as 'Princess', they mean it with all their heart! But i hate the next thought that come to my mind! I was never being referred to as 'Princess' by my own parents. If I, in my life, had ever been treated like a princess, it would be by my grandpa and my aunts! I know i should feel blessed to have been treated as such by someone (and i do! I really do!), but I still feel something 'missing' that it was not my parents that treated me like a princess.

Ok, im speaking incoherently again...

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 3:38 PM

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Guess being ignored is easier than to act nonchalant whenever you come coax me after a fight. It's funny, though my heart stings, but being ignored feels so much bearable. At least it is clear.... Clearer than ur contradicting actions. I dunno which is the real u (or rather, what ur heart is really thinking) and that is confusing me!

I guess this is better...... I hope this is better....

Emotionally-battered me

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 9:15 PM

Sunday, June 01, 2014

为什么你不回我的短讯？你两点下班，现在都过了半个小时，怎么还不回短讯？

每次传你短讯你都不回。上班前，下班后都不会找我。
有时我觉得你很不重视我。
爱一个人是这样的吗？？？

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 2:40 AM

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I feel so emo today..
So sad & blue....
I know it's not totally because hubby have to work tonight...
It's something deeper.....

I was feeling all sad & blue & down and before I know it, my 'old habit' just kicks in like that!
Yes, posting emo stuff on FB again~ (I always do that unknowingly when I'm down!)

You see?!

The posts I posted within that 2 hrs!!!

It's so obvious and depressing and..... everything it shouldn't be on a Christmas eve!

I was so tempted to order food for supper~

I thought I need some comfort food to 'tide' me through the night...

I chose a cuppa milk in the end and that kicks the craving (for comfort food) in the butt! *Hee Hee*

Oh! Halfway through this blog I receive a call & msg from hubby.
Hubby is a unromantic-traditional male chauvinist!
Its easier to wait for gold to drop than something like this from him...
So when it happens, it literally lift me up to the moon! :)

A simple greeting msg from my love ones never fail to brighten my mood :)

It's a good Christmas eve afterall! ;)

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:55 PM

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Another 9 days to 2014.

Read an article on Colon cancer.
Not exactly a very informative read, but it at least gave me some insights on how our lifestyle affects our health. (You can read it here)

Looking back on 2013, road seems rougher.
Transfer from Settlement Team to Procurement Team.
Almost resigned twice...
Colleagues issue (my colleague said that I am not approachable and show her attitude every time she need me to give her directions. =( )
And.....
Did not fulfill my only resolution.... *sigh*
.
11 months have passed and the number on my weighing scale still stay the same.
One good news though- I stopped smoking again without putting on any weight! *Lucky me!!!*
Tried twice and succeeded on the 2nd attempt!
Though it's only been like 2-3 weeks but Thank god I did it! I hope it'll last this time! :)

My resolution for 2014
Same, to get the number on my weighing scale to go down!!!
I think the reason I failed, other than the fact that the enemy is stronger, is because I do not have a concrete plan.
Now I think instead of just saying I need to lose 25kg by end of the year, I tell myself, I need to lose 500g per week with the help of some changes to my lifestyle.

1st step: - Controlled diet -
Not in the sense of all salad and no carbo, but eat whatever you want in moderation.
I need to remind myself this all the time because when I feel happy, I'll just order anything i feel like it!
And oh ya~ also to eat fruits like a fruit monster!!!!

2nd step: - Exercise -
I think I should pick up Yoga again.
It is really good for body though it always left me muscle aching after the 1st lesson.
And also jogging or walking.
I used to jog like 3 times a week when I'm on my weight lost plan.
Together with low-carb diet, I lost 5kg in 2 weeks, but that re-bounces almost instantly after I stop my regime because I cut down too much carbo at once.
With the lessons I learnt from my previous mistake, I hope I can do better this time;)

3rd step: - Skip supper -
Once a week is too much still!
I'm happy with the progress i made on this part, but like what I said - Once a week is too much still!
I should try to cut it down to once every fortnight and reach once a month by June 2014.
But as supper is kind of 'unwind + our + relaxing' time for me and hubby, I can foresee that it would take more than my usual effort to reach the 'once-a-month' goal.

Hopefully I can see some results in 2014. ;)

Oh oh oh~ And 1 more last resolution - to cut down on my spending and clear all my debts in 2014!

Self-Improvement
I spent most of my free time on dramas this year.
I have been slack on my kids and myself and my best friend is none other than my computer~
I think I need to take up some courses to improve myself!
For a start, I would like to learn a new language... Maybe Korean...
I might also pick up where I left for my academic pursuance.
A colleague would like to take private degree and we sort of able to take the same course at the same time, so I might go back to study again this Aug if nothing goes wrong ;)

Reflections
Even though 2013 seems like a tougher year for me, but I'm still thankful for everything that have happened.
I learned a lot this year.
I did more reflections than before, especially on interpersonal relationships - with the kids, with my friends and colleagues, with Joe....
I can better manage disappointments now especially when it comes from Joe.
Though I still cannot exactly 'action' but I understand the sentence ‘命中有时终须有命中无时莫强求’better.
I'm a better person now than I was the same time last year :)

This will probably be my last post of 2013.
(Tons of things to prepare before school reopens)
Before I go, I would like to sum up my feeling of 2013 in 1 picture :)
(Change all the 'YOUs' to 'I' =D)

Have fun celebrating Christmas & New Year!

See you peeps in 2014!!!

Tata!!

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 10:34 PM

Thursday, November 14, 2013

I wanted a girl.
Wanted one so bad that I can give up everything to have one...
Or.. Can I?

I feel that r/s between me and Joe has hit a all time low.
The lows we experienced before was from all the quarrels we had...
But now, it's from all the quarrels we dun have.

Control is good.
Control is suppose to stop situation from going out of hand
I have more control now.. I don't scream and shout as much now.
But why is it that I feel we drifted further away from each other now and no matter what I do,
nothing seems to help.
It just seems like the situation is out of control.
I feel so tired with all these.
Divorce, at this point of time, is totally out of question.
I am not ready financially to take care of 3 kids.
I am not happy staying in this marriage...
I am not happy with him...
We have too much differences and both of us are not willing to compromise (now).

I'm damn tired of not being me!
This is so not me!
For this family, for him, I became someone they want me to be...
But what they dun bother to understand is: this is not me....

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 9:56 AM

Monday, September 23, 2013

Once the debts are cleared, we shall move out. The father can choose to come with us or not. We can live by ourselves if he dun want..

IcYb3|| counted snowflakes at 8:06 PM